I lay face down, squatting on the bed, knees spread wide. I pulled his arms around me, ensuring he would hug me from behind, placing his hands on my breasts.
As I pulled him in he whispered, ‘This makes me want to have sex with you.’
I laughed, to which he replied, ‘That’s what you want isn’t it?’
‘He’s onto me,’ I thought, giggling in response.
We fell into a nice rhythm, rocking back and forth, moving with the energy.
Feeling his skin on mine as he slid my top up, intensifying the energy.
I wasn’t wearing panties and could feel his cock in between my legs.
‘I want to be inside you,’ he groaned.
‘Just put the tip in,’ I later responded.
I adjusted my pelvis. We let the cock find it’s way, naturally being pulled by the magnetism. My favourite. Letting it build anticipation without feeling forceful or too penetrative as sometimes fingers can be. My yoni welcomes the softness of the cock.
As the tip found it’s way in the entrance, we both moaned in delight and stopped movement for a moment, pausing in time together.
By doing this it allowed my yoni time to deepen her yearning for more. When I have space to feel, this naturally increases my pleasure. Time to sink deeper into the moment, into the sensations. To really feel her opening up.
As my request was respected and honoured, it also allowed me to trust him even more. When I trust I feel safe, when I feel safe, my arousal can build and the potential for deep pleasure expands.
After a short while I could feel him yearning to enter me fully and my yoni felt relaxed enough to envelop him completely.
‘Go slowly,’ I said.
With him taking me gently from behind, we rocked in the same position for a while. Then eventually coming down on my side I asked him to close the door and patted beside me on the bed, inviting him to enter me in the spooning position.
The thrusting remained gentle as I made soft sounds of pleasure. My breathing began to increase, shorter bursts of air leaving my mouth. Sadness arose in my heart. A feeling that only arises when my heart feels touched. Tears gently trickled down my face.
‘This is it,’ I thought.
This is what I knew I needed, the healing of presence in sex. The healing of tender love. To be fully vulnerable with a man. To be held by a man that I loved and felt capable of being completely vulnerable with. Both my yoni and heart had been yearning for this.
Although I have felt high emotion in sex before, this was the first time I was able to release. I knew he held no judgement. This man had shown immense vulnerability to me in the past. He gives me freedom to express in simply witnessing how comfortable he is with his emotions. The depth that he feels his emotions provides safety for me to be witnessed in experiencing the depth of mine.
After tears were shed, I felt lighter and it made room for space inside me to surrender into experiencing more pleasure.
When we allow emotion to be seen, instead of separating our sexual energy from our emotions; we allow the two to flow together. It then removes blockages in sexual energy and makes way for us to be more present with the current sensations that our body is experiencing.
After this, my arousal heightened and the pace naturally increased. Suddenly my body started shutting down and tensing.
He noticed straight away, and said, ‘What do you need from me right now?’
These are possibly the sexiest words ever spoken to me during sex.
I requested, ‘Go slower.’
Again, he honoured my request. The pace slowed.
I used to wonder whether my partner would be bored from going slow and being gentle during sex. That they’d lose their arousal because it isn’t exciting enough. I have come to trust more in sexual energy itself now. Knowing that if we allow the energy to direct us, it will lead to a healing experience.
The more I am in alignment with my body, the clearer my yoni is on what she wants. My yoni is a seperate entity unto herself. Sometimes what she wants and what I want can feel worlds apart.
When I speak up during sex it is to be a voice for her. She thanks me by allowing me to feel pleasure that I otherwise may not have felt. My duty of care is to listen and honour her requests. She knows what needs to change in the situation in order for me to experience the highest potential of pleasure.
I feel compassion and understand the rush of sexual energy, how our animal can often demand that we go fast. It is in the discipline of slowing down that we take control of our animal. In this practice, we acknowledge our sexual power as a conscious being, worthy of deeper more spiritual sexual experiences.
My pussy has become very stringent on what energy is allowed to enter. In the slowing down and becoming present during sex, releasing the need for it to go anywhere, she feels respected and flourishes as a result.
We lay scissoring each other. I was on my back as he lay on his side, our legs entwined. I reached to his anus, slowly penetrated his sacred spot with my finger. His pleasure shot through his cock into my pussy, and my pleasure doubled from giving and receiving at the same time. We lay like this for a while, thrusting ever so slightly. Every movement amplified with intensity. I could feel his climax arriving and my body started shaking all over as I continued thrusting on his cock. He pulled out and I continued involuntarily shaking. It felt as though I was riding his climax.
My pussy aches now at the recount.
He cupped his palm on my vulva just as he always had. The intention being for the pussy not to feel abandoned after sex. This small act is invaluable for after care.
I was deeply upset that my yoni had been so sore and shutdown in the month prior, medication and herbs unable to help entirely. I had been feeling intuitively as though I needed healing from sex, from a conscious heart connected cock. The love-making was so tender, so pure, so sweet and afterwards my heart and my yoni felt as though it had a transformative healing experience.
With sexual energy, magic is possible.