Entering Pussy Premises

I consciously use the word pussy as a way of owning the eroticism and sexual essence. 

There is a strong message that comes up too often for me around sex, also for other women around me, and I feel it very much needs to be shared.

This is about the importance of being entered when the pussy is fully open and ready, and the effects of being entered too early.

There were times when I used to masturbate, I often spent zero time arousing myself or preparing my body. I lubed up the vibrator and inserted it straight away. I wanted to feel good instantly. Now looking back, this is how I went about life in general, as soon as I wanted something, I wanted it straight away. Having zero patience for waiting, I also had no patience with my own arousal. I feel more embodied now than I ever have been, but still this is something I recognise as a struggle for me. At times my hands want to move faster than my pussy desires. Which is why my self pleasure practice has turned to a discipline, slowing down is not always easy or comes naturally.

Recently I had sex when my pussy wasn’t ready and it was entirely my own doing. I enjoy sex so much that I get excited mentally. Mentally I am usually ready and aroused, but this is not the case for my body. So it resulted in getting thrush, followed by a flare up of lichen sclerosus; inflammation of the vulva basically. I wish I could say this was the first time I have developed an infection or irritation from sex. I have had thrush and uti’s more times than anybody else I know. My pussy has been screaming at me for years, and I have struggled understanding what wasn’t in alignment. This pain is what inspired me to share this. 

I’ve come to accept that she, my pussy, doesn’t like being entered too early. There have been times where I’ve been penetrated and had to stop because there was pain and discomfort from not being open and aroused enough. My pussy also resists sex that consists of a lot of fast in and out movement; friction based penetration. Don’t get me wrong, fast sex can be great but as long as she is engorged and wet. As soon as it becomes painful or starts to tighten I need to speak up and either change to slow lovemaking, or cease penetration completely. Speaking up around sex has been a huge part of my sexual journey, and I know it’s the same for many other women.

If the pussy is wet, this does not automatically mean she is ready to be entered. A more accurate gauge is swelling of the vulva, the opening may start to invite you in, and an increase in hip movements trying to bring you closer. But even then, if in doubt, ask if she’s ready to be entered. This will allow her to become present with the sensations in her body and create deeper awareness around what being ready actually feels like. You could be the first person to ever ask her. What a beautiful gift, to encourage her to build a relationship with her body, honour her own boundaries and on a subtler level inviting her to reclaim her power back. This will allow her to feel safe with you, and feeling safe with a partner is potentially the most erotic recipe for orgasm. 

If she isn’t ready, this can open up a dialogue of what she likes and how you could help her feel more at ease, often all it takes is for everything to be slowed down. Also, don’t take it personally if she is not ready to be entered. This could be coming from many years of being penetrated too early, disconnection to her body, or a result of trauma from years before. Or it could be at a time in the cycle where penetration is a no go, there are so many factors to take into account. 

Ideally you want the pussy begging for you to enter. The more aroused she is before being entered, the more ecstatic the experience, at least this is true for me. Being entered whilst in a high state of arousal sets the theme for the rest of the experience. She is then more likely to transcend to high states of orgasmic pleasure. Obviously mutual pleasure is important, but the pussy has a magical way of increasing the pleasure of whom it is engaged with, which is why attending to her prior to penetration is so important. A process that can be enjoyed by both.

And to the owners of pussies, this is also on you to be the security guard of your own premise. She is looking at you to feel safe. Every time we are penetrated too early, this effects the level of trust we have with our pussy. It creates tension and restriction in our bodies which prevents us from relaxing. Perhaps we are doing it to please our partner or because we so desire that intimate connection, but it creates a feeling of being unsafe in arousal when we can’t rely on ourselves to speak up. Once she knows she can count on you, then she is more easily able to soften, open and surrender. 

I have even noticed in my self pleasure practice when there is urgency behind my touch, my body will shut down. Recognising this on my own gives me greater discernment and clarity when I engage with others. When we build this kind of relationship with our pussy we are opening ourselves up to the height of our orgasmic potential. 

I feel guilt, shame and exhaustion over the numerous pharmaceuticals, pain and discomfort that my body has endured. I am hoping by writing this I give myself even more accountability to live as I speak. In fact, let this be accountability for us all, to listen, honour and act according to our bodies and sacred space. 

The gentler you approach a flower, the more she will feel safe enough to bloom. 

Leave a Reply